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20 Hilarious Shower Thoughts

1. When someone texts me “k” as a response I get more angry than if they had said something very offensive.

2. Maybe they’re the main character because they don’t die instead of not dying because they’re the main character.

3. Star Wars takes place “a long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away”. I wonder how technologically advanced they are today.

4. If tensing your body during an accident puts you at higher risk for injury, then “brace for impact” is actually really bad advice.

5. I wonder how child custody battles would be different if the kid got to live in the same house full time and the parents had to move in/out every week.

6. I wish referees had answer to post game press conferences.

7. How many years does it have to pass for grave robbing to become archeology?

8. Your birthday is just a celebration that you haven’t died for that many years.

9. All human behavior is inspired by the the fact that feeling hungry sucks and having sex feels great.

10. In Harry Potter. If owls can track anyone to deliver their letters why didn’t Voldemort just send him an owl and follow it, rather than use so many wizards on the task?

11. I wonder if my house key works on any other houses.

12. A ridiculous amount of care is given to the look of birthday cakes before they are set on fire, cut into pieces and eaten.

13. If people can be accepted as a sex different from their birth sex, why can’t I be legally treated as an age different than my birth age?

14. My phone knows more about me and my interests than any of my family or friends.

15. Is the S or C silent in the word Scent?

16. What if we used the phrase “oh my god” so much, that God got angry and stopped listening to us?

17. There should be a way to lower the TV volume before you turn it on.

18. My soulmate could have been caught in a condom.

19. There are professional people that pair cheese and wine, why isn’t there the same for movies and wine?

20. If you get into a car accident and you both have Nationwide, whose side are they on?

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